I started this blog as an outlet for my thoughts, I love to put my thoughts into writing or words. Since going through cancer, chemotherapy & amputation I have just always found that expressing things outwardly, mostly fairly unedited, helps me deal with stuff & heal. It took me years to heal from what I went through cancer wise and honestly it will always partially be sort of like a half healed scar. However, there have been a million things since cancer that have put it out of my direct sight & mind, leaving me to be at peace with it, 10 years past.
A big part of this blog became more so dedicated to my passion to set goals and drive forward and achieve them. My last "big" goal kind of came out of nowhere. I had watched some clip on YouTube about triathletes. It was an intense 4-5 minute video capturing the crazy endurance that triathletes have. I was 100% completely obsessed after watching it, I thought about triathlons all the time. I knew other amputees had competed in them (not that it mattered even if I was the only one, but is always inspiring & is great for reference). I however, hadn't been swimming (like laps style) in years, didn't own a bicycle or hadn't ridden one since before I lost my leg & even though I had a running prosthesis it wasn't fully complete & I hadn't been training on it. Soooooo where do you go from here??? LOL. Ummmmm well you find someone who does triathlon, who is good at it, and pick their brains. In comes Meyrick Jones. Through my babblings about triathlon to numerous people, Meyrick's name had been brought up to me as he was a local guy (who happened to be a below knee amputee) & a triathlete. Naturally I went about my way googling him, reading his blog & emailed him basically saying I wanted to meet & talk triathlon. We met above his gym in a coffee shop in West Vancouver. He was very easy to talk to & clearly passionate about triathlon & sports/athleticism in general. A person a can easily get along with.
A little insight into my love of sport. I believe I have been an athlete since I was conceived. My mum played on a rec basketball league that my dad coached, while my mum was pregnant with me. Both of my parents love sports, playing them together & separately, everything from tennis, basketball, football, golf, baseball, track and so on and so on. Words my dad used to describe me, as a kid, and still to this day are intense, no fear and passionate. I bring all of that into sport & have since I first swam as a toddler, stepped on my first soccer field as a little kid, ran my first track meet, first connected my bat with a baseball on the diamond & later felt my first pump from a set of weights. I may not be the athlete that it comes most naturally to, but I am that athlete that gives it everything in me, full intensity, full dedication no matter who or what I'm up against. I am a firm believer that it doesn't take one specific sport to make you an athlete, it's in you or it's not.
I asked Meyrick to coach me, learned A LOT from him, hooked up an amazing & supportive prosthetic team, set some triathlon goals and achieved them. During my one year newbie stint in triathlon I also had other things going on, I was running a brand new business with my fiancé that we literally started from nothing, planning a wedding, a honeymoon & also dealing with some fertility tests & concerns as a result of undergoing chemotherapy in my past battle with cancer. (It turns out my hormones are advanced for my age & my egg count is substantially lower than it sound be.) This was a frightening thing. I was in no rush to become a parent but the thought of not becoming a parent broke my heart. Basically the medical advise I was given was "not to wait". Like, if you want to have a family, you better get on it. I struggled with this big time at first. Going back & forth. I was very business & triathlon focused at this time in my life. I made the decision with my husband that not trying to have kids wasn't an option. So shortly after getting married we started trying to conceive.... And boom, pregnant! Not what I was expecting, but the most incredible thing to happen in my life to date.
Pregnancy was a fascinating time to me & I was so grateful to be carrying my first born. When Kiara was born something in me became peaceful. I had never thought that being a momma would fill me with such contentment & happiness. She is truly my greatest purpose. I have embraced every single second of her first year of life & I knew very quickly after her arrival I wasn't willing to risk waiting to try to conceive again. After having Kiara I KNEW I wanted another child. The month before Kiara's first birthday we conceived our second child. Another amazing little miracle. Gratitude for these two pregnancies just doesn't quite sum up my feelings, I'm at a loss for words completely.
Back to sport. My goal had been to go back to triathlon right away after having Kiara but my heart & mind decided otherwise. Like any other big thing that happens in life, becoming a momma changed me. Cancer changed me too, for the better. I'm not directly comparing cancer to motherhood, but I am saying that these huge things impacted me greatly as a person. I never would have known what I would be like or what I would want in life after I became a momma, until I was a momma. Just like I never (in a billion years) would have accomplished or experienced half the things I have if I hadn't gone through cancer. I am an active goal setter, but I am also adaptive & believe firmly in changing direction or adjusting goals to reflect what makes me happiest in life. Cancer taught me this, being an amputee has taught me this & being a momma has also taught me this.
I went back to training daily & am a very active momma, Kiara is following in my footsteps too. Walking at 11 months, she is go-go-go & even when she falls down, she picks herself up, dusts off & cruises on. That's MY girl. Sport will always be apart of our lives. I will follow my heart & my passion as far as competing in sport goes. Goals will evolve to fit my love of physical fitness, my love for my family life & business & educational growth.
I think in the grand scheme there are certain goals that NEED to be set. Things in life that are naturally occurring & (in my belief) if you want to successfully & happily keep up with life you have to set goals accordingly. These are likely family related, business related or home related. Then there are goals that you set along the way that are purely selfish goals, the purpose is simply because you feel the undeniable pull to do it, to experience it. Travel, education, sport & so on, they aren't for any persons benefit except your own. These goals keep us growing as individuals. Teach how far we can go, in my case I truly believe there are no limits. I have set selfish goals, like competing in triathlon, that serves no purpose other than to make me feel good. Although my fitness goals at the moment are not to compete or break records, they are still set... I vow to feed my body nutrition to ensure optimal health, to work out in the gym 4-6 times a week & to be as active as humanly possibly with Kiara. So regardless of my roles as a mother, a wife or a business owner & the goals I am constantly working towards in those areas, there need to be goals that are set of this "selfish" nature. Always.
Right now, my purpose & passion lies with my family, the joy I feel teaching my daughter new things, watching her grow, my family grow, accomplishing family goals, leading a healthy & active life is part of me & will always be something Kiara & any other future children are part of. Knowing I have full control over my happiness & direction in life is powerful & I don't take that for granted, it lets me feel that whenever I feel ready for a new goal, I'll go after it.... And if & when I feel that tug, that undeniable pull to compete in sport, I would be there.
