Now that I have a few blog posts out there, I can babble about other things. As of right now things in life are a little crazy. I'm getting married in less than week. I've been planning this for a year and a half, so naturally I'm VERY excited. I would love to say that through times like this I stay very focused but that's not exactly true. I find myself getting so excited that I almost forgot to function and lately I have even been forgetting to eat. LOL. Two nights in a row I have eaten a couple pieces of cheese, a pear and a glass of wine for dinner. THIS IS VERY UNLIKE ME. But, if I said anything else I would be lying. So now you know.
I have liked wedding planning but I honestly am looking forward to it being over, I feel I am too busy for it. Or maybe I just have things in life that I would rather be doing. Training being one of them. I recently even had to quit swimming until after the wedding because me dress just wasn't fitting as it should. Not my favourite. I LOVE swimming so not doing so has made my sanity slightly compromised. I have basically come to the realisation that I just have to let it happen at this point, the wedding is literally in 6 days so I should be soaking up every second of it. Today is actually my bridal shower, typical for me, I have woken up at 5 am... on a Sunday. Completely unnecessary seeing as I do not have to be at the party until 1pm. I, however, have thoughts buzzing through my mind, some about the wedding, a lot about sport, this blog and random other things.
The only place I really find mental peace is during physical exertion. Sport also allows me time of pure focus. I am extremely competitive and when I say competitive I don't just mean up against my competitors, I mostly mean with myself. I am constantly striving to better myself and when I am deep into a swimming, strength straining, running, cycling or any work out session my mind really isn't anywhere else. I am completely content with the constant effort. I am not sure if that statement makes sense to people, but it sums it up perfectly to me.
One thing I have really noticed since going through cancer and cancer treatment (chemotherapy specifically for me) is that I generally have a slightly harder time focusing than I used to. Sometimes I chalk it up to just being more passionate about life. I was so close to having it taken from me that when there are exciting things happening or events to look forward to I get a little more happily excited and anxious about them. It also doesn't help that I am a bit of an over thinker. Once I get an idea in my head I think about it almost obsessively, goal setting and planning, thinking of ways I can attain whatever I am thinking about or handle the situation at hand. I get these qualities from my Mum and Dad, the over thinking and goal setting from Mumma and the problem solving from Dad. I have found these to be great traits to help me through my times of struggle with cancer and a disability and am SO grateful that my parents passed them along to me. They are traits that kind of allow me to look at my life from the outside in and really delegate and decide how to deal with things and also how to call myself out on the positive and negative areas in order to make better progress.
So today, and for the next 6 days I'm really going to be practising the task of enjoying the moment, not how much progress is being made or the final outcome. The moments of time spent with my lovely bridesmaids and ladies at my bridal shower. (I know they have put a lot of thought and time into planning this day so I hope they all know how excited I am and thankful that they care so much to make today extra special.) This week I will consciously put effort into enjoying the last few days with my sweet fiance, Steve, before I marry him. At the end of the week I will soak up every second of girlie time getting our nails done and having our bridesmaids sleepover the night before the wedding. On the day of our wedding I will remind myself to breathe and really absorb the wonderful moments that Steve and I are sharing with our family and friends, because as much as our wedding day is a day dedicated to Steve and I celebrating our love and union as husband as wife, it is also a massive celebration of the joining of two families and the mixing and mingling of all of our loved ones and friends.
~Enjoying the moments~
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